Born to Run Club
Gym Class
“Walk! Don’t sit!,” I hear behind me. My gym teacher is shaking his head, jotting something down in his clipboard while the other kids have already completed the horrid mile run. My heart began to race. “I’m too fat to do this,” I thought to myself. “Am I going to fail gym?” I jumped up, dropped the strands of grass I plucked from the ground while sitting and began to walk. I felt defeated as I looked back at my gym teacher’s smirk; his look impressed upon me that I had already failed.
This is a memory that I know is shared by many who experienced the Presidential Fitness Test that was administered in schools from the 1950s through 2012. This test was a product of the Cold War era, and was based on the fear that American children would not be physically fit for war. Children received awards for reaching a certain level, so it created an environment for youth to compare themselves to one another. Even the individuals that weren’t made to take the test could still experience comparison or criticism of their body or fitness level at school, in peer groups, at home, at the doctor’s office, in the media, or in most places, because our culture is not weight inclusive.
Could I have run that mile if I was taught to run the mile? Could I have run that mile if my teacher invested time in me and told me that all bodies can run? Could I have run that mile if there was more of a community effort, versus every child for themselves?I’ll never know but, oddly, I am thankful for the experience because it has inspired me to build something better. No one on this planet should have to feel how I felt in gym class and I know there are others out there like me.
Who is a Runner?
As a white female who identifies as small fat, an informal term that describes people between the sizes 14-18, I recognize my privilege. I am writing from my own personal experiences when I discuss feeling excluded from the running community and understand many have experienced varying traumas or challenges related to their bodies. This world can be cruel when it comes to defining who a runner is, and it may not be specific to weight alone. Historically, runners could only be thin, white males. Alison Mariella Désir captures the racist history of running in her book Running While Black and she, along with other activists, is working toward making the running industry more inclusive. A runner is anyone who runs. Runners have different body types, paces, medical issues, economic status, skin color, and gender identities when they hit the pavement. Runners might also need to combine walking and running; this does not make a person less of a runner.
We see certain messaging in the running industry that conflicts with the concept that anyone who runs is a runner or worthy of being invested in. For instance, needing to have a certain pace to qualify for the Boston Marathon; expensive gear in running stores that can be out of reach for some people; exclusive sizes in running clothing; races that shut down after a certain time even though slower runners are still on the course; well kept tracks at schools in suburbs compared to inner city schools; the refusal to allow a non-binary category or trans individuals in races; or races that are not accessible to people with disabilities. If you don’t fit within society’s ideal runner box, you need to work harder to be out there. I strongly believe in the community surrounding that effort and the need to support each other.
Running as Resistance
Everything is connected. Weight stigma, racism, classism, and all of the discrimination within the running industry. I created the Run Club for Mental Health for every individual who may have been told they could not run or was kept out of the sport. I want a safer place for everyone who struggles to believe in the power that they hold when the depths of despair come, and when comparison to others takes over. I want a non-competitive place for runners to go where they can be seen and build real relationships. Run clubs need to welcome people of all backgrounds and recognize that each person may have different experiences with running. This is in and of itself resisting the industry’s exclusionary practices.
There is a certain magic that happens when runners come together with the respect of one another’s pace, abilities, and bodies. In our run club, each person is interested in meeting others, ditching diet culture pressure, learning how to run for mental health, getting in tune with nature, and getting connected to the community. By the club’s second meeting it became clear that our run club is also a meeting place for sharing empathy for all people. We shared ways to cope with political stressors, get involved in the community, and support local businesses.
Running, the very thing that might feel exclusive, can be the same tool that brings connectedness, empowerment, inclusivity, and resistance in dark times. Contrary to what my 12 year old self in gym class would think, I know I was born for this!
If you are interested in the Run Club for Mental Health, a screening is required prior to joining and spots are limited. Reach out for more info at maria@forwardmotioncounselinglcsw.com or complete the registration form.